So...last week, I just couldn't do it. I felt that I had nothing inspirational to say. Everything sounded fake...my heart was hurting and I didn't feel like writing about it. So this week, my heart is still hurting, and I still don't feel like writing about it...but maybe it's better to just be honest. It's one of those things that I can't really share, but I've been thinking about this...where is God when life doesn't make sense? Where is God when I can't feel His presence, and I read the bible and feel nothing...and pray and can barely get the words out? Where is He when I'm questioning everything? When I'm angry and afraid? When I am completely overwhelmed and don't know where to start?
Sometimes I really don't understand, but I knew He's here...He promised me,
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)
I know He's always with me, even when I can't feel His presence. I started looking for little signs of God breaking into my world...and I started noticing little things, like an encouraging word from a friend, a hug, my favorite song on the radio, happy news, good memories and dreams, signs of spring, a beautiful sunset...not only is He always here, but He cares enough to speak to me in "my language", through the little things that only a friend would know.
So, if I could say one thing today...it's that there will be tough days. Just keep moving, one step at a time...it does get better. Don't ever think that you don't matter or that you're not important. Don't measure your success by comparing yourself to others. You are loved more deeply than you know...your life is important and connected to so many others. There are people who love you just the way you are, for your strengths and your weaknesses. One person's life touches many others...you may never know what an impact you have. Don't lose heart...and don't ever give up!
Monday, March 18, 2013
What is your biggest fear?
One of mine is public speaking...this week I had an opportunity to face that fear! I was asked to speak for 30 minutes about nutrition. I was nervous, because there was a question and answer component to my talk...and I had no idea what kinds of questions would be asked. There were some very thoughtful questions...I was impressed! After my talk was over, I felt a rush...I had stepped way out of my comfort zone, and it ended up being a great experience! I think we need to keep pushing ourselves in order to grow and to be completely fulfilled in life.
Here are some major points from our discussion:
*Learn to read nutrition labels. Make your food as nutrient dense as possible...choose foods that contain enough protein, fiber, vitamins & minerals. Limit your consumption of foods with little or no nutritious value. Limit consumption of trans fats, high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors/flavors/sweeteners. Bottom Line: Eat more foods that grow from plants, and less foods that are manufactured in a plant!
*Avoid "black & white" thinking. Have some doritos or cupcakes from time to time....just find a way to work them into your daily calorie allowance. Learn to budget your calories the same way you budget your money. Let some foods be for "special occasions"...not staples of your diet!
*Slow down when you're eating. Enjoy your food! As much as possible, don't eat standing up or sitting in your car. Enjoy good food, good company, good music...and you might find that you need less food to be satisfied!
*Make your health and fitness a lifelong journey...allow yourself the freedom to make mistakes! Don't beat yourself up...life is a lot of trial and error, and that is ok. It might take some time before you find what really works for you. Be honest with yourself....what truly motivates you? Change your mindset...you may consider yourself to be your "own worst enemy"...learn how to be your own best friend! Plan meals in advance, eat before you are famished, lay out your workout clothes...do something today that your future self will thank you for!
So...it was a good experience and I appreciated the great questions! Stepping out of my comfort zone inspired me and made me think...what else am I afraid to do...what else is holding me back? Writing scares me in a way...I'm afraid that I won't be able to express what I want to, and my thoughts will stay trapped inside of me. I feel the same way about painting, playing music, anything where I'm putting myself out there. Afraid no one will understand maybe...afraid of vulnerability....? So I'm taking Eleanor Roosevelt's advice and working on one little thing at a time that scares me. How can I expect my clients to follow my advice if I can't follow it myself??
I also find myself somewhat anxious about sharing what I'm learning in my walk with God.. I really don't want to present myself as someone who has all the answers, because I don't! Some days I have more questions than answers. I'm not a Christian because I have it all together, but because I need God! I think so many people are afraid to be honest when they have questions or struggles. I just want to tell the truth, and maybe engage in some honest, nitty gritty conversations about faith.
It's all about Mark 12:30, which is one of my favorite verses: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." And then verse 31 says: "Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no greater commandment than these." Primal is divided into 4 sections: one for the heart, one for the soul, one for the mind, and one for strength. I recommend it if you're looking for some new perspectives and insights.
Blessings all...hope you all have a great week!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
I've decided to slightly change the format of this blog. I'll still write about my faith, my job, what I'm reading and what I'm listening to, but my blog won't be compartmentalized so neatly...because my real life isn't! Those areas of my life naturally flow into each other, and I want my blog to reflect that. I will plan to update once a week, usually on Monday mornings. I want it to be the sort of blog you can read while drinking your morning coffee...short and sweet, and hopefully I'll leave you with some inspiration as you begin your week.
Last week, I watched a film that stayed with me. It's called The Boy In The Striped Pajamas. I sort of stumbled onto the movie on Netlix. Prior to watching it, I had a vivid dream about children fighting to survive during WWII in abandoned canal houses in Amsterdam. It was such an exciting dream...it had me on the edge of my seat! It was a story of courage, survival, and the healing that comes through sacrificial love. At the end of the dream, I realized that it was the plot of a novel...I wouldn't even know where to begin writing a novel, but maybe someday I'll give it a try!
Anyway, right from the start, The Boy In The Striped Pajamas felt like a natural extension of the dream I had. It's the story of Bruno, an 8-year-old German boy, who befriends Schmuel, an 8-year-old Jewish boy in the concentration camp of which Bruno's father is the director. Bruno's simple kindness to Schmuel gives him hope and sustains him in a hopeless situation. If you don't want to know what happens, stop reading now!
At the end of the film, Bruno discovers some loose dirt by the fence around the concentration camp. He decides to break into the camp and help Schmuel find his missing father. He is afraid, but he knows he can't help Schmuel unless he goes inside the camp. Meanwhile, Bruno's father has ordered that all the prisoners be sent to the gas chambers...not knowing that his own son is inside the camp. I was so moved by the way that Bruno, in his simple faith, was willing to risk everything to help his friend. This film, though deeply upsetting to me, reminded me that prejudice and hatred lead to emptiness and loss...but also that a simple act of kindness can have ramifications we can't even imagine.
Here is a music video from the movie (with a song that oddly fits, Iridescent by Linkin Park)
So...on a lighter note!
During workout sessions over the last week, I've been focusing on the word "impossible." I am so inspired by watching my clients do what they used to think was impossible! What if "impossible" became your favorite word...?? What could you do, and how would your life change? What is standing in your way? I was inspired recently by a blog called Free To Be Athlete (www.freetobeathlete.com) It's the story of a woman, Dominique, who started out running only a few minutes at a time, and who is now training for an Ironman Triathlon. What seems impossible to you? What if you thought of that word in a new way...?
My favorite exercise last week was the good old-fashioned mountain climber:
Here it is being performed by Jillian Michaels...I learned the exercise from her. :)
The mountain climber seems to be a fitting metaphor...what mountains are waiting for you to conquer them? What's stopping you? Here's a thought to end with, words of Jesus from Matthew 17:20:
"...Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."
What I'm learning in my faith:
I've been thinking about Psalm 121:
I lift my eyes up to the mountains - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you - the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm - He will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
To me, this Psalm signifies the beginning of a journey...there will be hard times and obstacles ahead, but if I just "lift my eyes up to the mountains" I'll remember where my hope, faith and confidence lies...in the Maker of heaven and earth! Psalm 121 also reminds me of one of my favorite movies, The Sound of Music. This is the last thing the Reverend Mother says to Fraulein Maria before she begins her escape from the Nazis and her journey into the Alps: "I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills from whence cometh my help." And then she says "God be with you." This Psalm reminds me of all the ways that He is with us.
What I'm learning in the gym:
I've been giving a lot of consideration to personalizing fitness programs. Every person is motivated in different ways. For example, many people are motivated by training for a specific goal or event, such as a 5k, triathlon, marathon, or obstacle race (Warrior Dash, Tough Mudder, etc). Some are motivated by "mastering" a routine, while others need more variety in order to stay interested.
I have tried a lot of different workouts and systems, and this is what works for me right now: shorter workouts (1 hour max), cardio and weights in the same workout, anaerobic training, high intensity intervals, working multiple muscle groups simultaneously, learning new and more complex skills, incorporating balance and core training throughout the workout. I don't spend much time on cardio machines, but I implement kettlebells, TRX, battling ropes, medicine balls, free weights, cable resistance, stability balls, boxing gloves, and bodyweight exercises. This is a good fit for my body (less overuse injuries) and it's also a great creative outlet for me.
There is an exercise program out there that is ideal for your body, goals, and personality...even if you have to create it yourself! It will just take some time and some effort. If you can learn to think of fitness as a life-long pursuit, I believe you are much more likely to succeed in your goals. You are also less likely to become discouraged when you lose momentum, which is inevitable...it happens to everyone! If you think this way, you'll allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from trial and error. Remember, everything worthwhile is a process and it will take some time...but in the end, it will be worth everything you've invested!
What I'm Reading:
Hyperfitness by Sean Burch. My Dad gave this book to me, and it is my all-time favorite fitness book. These workouts are based on the training program Sean Burch used when he was preparing to climb Mt. Everest. The exercises are intense, fun, creative, and will challenge your entire body and your mind! I turn to this book for inspiration when I'm creating new workouts. This exercise should look familiar to my clients! :)
What I'm Listening To:
"I'm On Your Side" by Enation. This reminds me of God's love and grace...beautiful music and lyrics!
I am a 30 year old follower of Jesus and a personal trainer who is interested in spiritual growth. In recent months I've seen many ways that my faith and my fitness intersect, and I wanted to have a place to process the ways that the two are connected. I would like to encourage and "build up" anyone who stumbles onto this blog, as well as share what God is showing me. I want to explore all of the fun aspects of fitness that I love, as well as examine the deeper spiritual metaphors that abound in physical exercise.
I didn't always love exercise...the first 25 years of my life I exercised only sporadically. I would try a workout that was too tough for me, get discouraged, and quit. I told myself I just wasn't meant to be "athletic." I HATED running (and I still do! ha)...and I thought that all fit people had to be good runners.
When I was 25, I started doing a lot of research about health and fitness and I became very interested in the creative side of planning workouts and classes, playlists, etc. It was the first time I thought that fitness could be enjoyable! I started thinking of it as my own artistic medium, and it turned out to be a great stress reliever too! I looked forward to my workouts all day...I was hooked! I became a group exercise instructor, then a personal trainer, and now I can't imagine anything more rewarding for me. The connections people make with each other through exercise, and the deep transformations and healing...what a blessing to be a part of that!
As wonderful as I think physical fitness is, I know that nothing in life can completely satisfy me like having a relationship with Jesus Christ. This Bible verse sums up my philosophy on exercise: "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." (I Timothy 4:8).
What I'm learning in my faith:
I've been contemplating Bible passages that use the metaphor of "clothing yourself." Putting on a virtue like putting on a garment. For example:
"...All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another..." (I Peter 5:5)
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." (Proverbs 31:25)
"I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God. For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of His righteousness..." (Isaiah 61:10)
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." (Colossians 3:12)
When I want to motivate myself to exercise, I lay out my workout clothes so that I'm prepared to go to the gym. What if I prepared myself for the day by asking God to "clothe" me with these attributes, all reflections of His character?
What I'm learning at the gym:
I've been having a lot of fun exploring CrossFit style workouts. CrossFit is intriguing to me, mostly because it is creative and very functional...you use mutliple muscle groups and your heart rate is elevated the entire workout! I've been doing research about the metabolic benefits of this type of workout. And also...I am even starting to like the dorky socks CrossFitters wear!
What I don't like about CrossFit: I don't like the emphasis on speed rather than form. I don't like swinging while doing pull-ups (I call it cheating...sorry!). I also have back issues with the squats and deadlifts. So, with CrossFit, just like anything else...use what works for you, and leave behind what doesn't!
Here's a quick, fun little circuit to try. You need a rowing machine and a kettlebell:
Kettlebell:
20 swings/20 goblet squats/20 presses (2 hands) - no rest
rest 1 min and repeat
What I'm reading:
"Freedom From Performing" by Becky Harling
I can't recommend this book enough...it is changing the way I think about grace and God's love. And also helping me to let go of "people pleasing"...it's a great read with stories from real individuals who have learned how to live abundantly in God's grace.
What I'm listening to:
"Fix You" by Coldplay...I feel that this song portrays the way so many of us feel when we are getting started (or starting over), and obstacles seem insurmountable.
"When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
What could be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones..."
